I am back and I thank you for your patience, thoughts, and prayers over the past year.  With the help of my good friends Toby McKeeham and Kyle Williams, I am writing this recap of my past year and the lyrics to their song really describe my last year.

Faithfully – TobyMac (Lyrics)

It’s been a long year, it almost took me down, I swear
Life was so good
I’m not so sure we knew what we had
I’ll never be the same man
I’ll never feel like I felt before (felt before)

And if I’m keepin’ it real
I’ve been half-faking the happy they see
I may look like the same man
But I’m half the man I was (half the man I was)
It’s been a hard year, it almost took me down

In my darkest hour, You met me
So quietly, so gently
You said You’d never leave
And You stood by Your word
So quietly, so gently
In all my pain, You met me
You said You’d never leave
And You stood by Your word

‘Cause when my world broke into pieces
You were there faithfully
When I cried out to You, Jesus
You made a way for me
I may never be the same man
But I’m a man who still believes
When I cried out to You, Jesus
You were there faithfully

In January 2023, my wife Tiffany began chemotherapy for lung cancer and her health began to deteriorate.  In March my year continued to fall with the passing of my sweet cousin Dena Snyder Spencer, who was not much older than me.  In June my mother went into cardiac arrest and on 4 July she passed away.  Tiffany went in the hospital on 3 July with an infection which progressed into multiple issues and she passed away on 4 August; exactly one month after my mother.  The loss of my mom and wife tore me to pieces and left me missing the two most important women in my life; the only people I could talk to about any and every thing.  In September, my son’s dog Mia died and my daughter’s dog Izzy died.  Then in October and November I lost an aunt each month.  In December I hit rock bottom and felt I could not go on, I was really struggling and my family and friends “did not want to bother me” with calls and visits, and I was feeling desperately alone. When I talked to them about it, they said I should have reached out to them; easier said than done for a severely depressed person. 

It was in December that I had a long confrontational conversation with Jesus, and he reminded me that He was with me and reminded me of the blessings last year brought.  I was ordained in April and in July, I officiated the wedding of my best friend’s son.  Jesus also reminded me He had a plan for my life and was preparing me for great things to come.  In January He arranged for me to meet a special young lady who has brought joy to my life and given me hope again. We have recently gotten married and are enjoying our lives as one.

I am trying to live my life in a way that honors God; however, I am human and I stumble sometimes and – when I cried out to You, Jesus, You were there faithfully.

I know where I am going, do you know Where Ya Off Too?